hope I can blog write about hope...

I understand why some people get to the place of hope being lost or having no hope.

Each day a person that suffers from a chronic disease has questions of hope;

-I hope I can make it today with no pain
-I hope I can endure the pain

-I hope I can get a good nights rest
-I hope that since I'm not sleeping, I won't suffer tomorrow

-I hope that I can make the plans with friends
-I hope my friends will understand when I cancel

-I hope I can clean my house today
-I hope nobody stops by because my house hasn't been cleaned in days

-I hope I can do the laundry
-I hope everyone still has undies since I don't feel like doing laundry

-I hope I can make it to the grocery store today
-I hope we have something in the house to eat because I just don't feel like moving

-I hope they can get my disease under-control
-I hope they find a cure

-I hope I can walk up those stairs
-I hope nobody is behind me, cause I'm going slow

-I hope I don't need a cane
-I hope I don't end up in a wheelchair

-I hope my spine doesn't fuse
-I hope my spine fuses straight and not stooped over

-I hope they don't ask about my disease
-I hope they do ask about my disease (knowledge is key)

-I hope they don't say, oh, it's arthritis
-I hope they don't say, but you look great and at least it doesn't affect your organs

-I hope my family understands...
-I hope that I do NOT pass this to my children!

ASer's have many of these type thoughts everyday! We live with feelings of guilt, regret, anger, frustration, sadness, but we also live with HOPE. If I don't have hope then what do I have? What is a future with a chronic disease without hope? What is life, without hope? What is MY future without hope?

I have ankylosing spondylitis, but it does NOT have me.


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