Monday, October 1, 2012

it's not a stage, it's an alter

Yesterday my pastor (Stephen Carpenter-SC) at my church (Christ's Church at Whitewater-CCW) started a series on FAMILY.  If you are close by, you should come!  The service yesterday was wonderful.  OK--plug over and now let the reality of the message/service, blog away...

I'm JOB! That's what I've decided.  If you don't know what I'm talking about it, just dust off your Bible and read "Job".  SC started off by saying he's rolled over and said, "I don't want to get up and go to church" just as we all have (let me say all of our pastors are human so don't think they aren't).  He was referencing the aches and pains of getting older.  BUT, I immediately thought--I THINK THAT EVERY STINKIN DAY!  He also mentioned how he's learned that southerners don't "talk" about their problems, that they stay behind closed doors.  WHOA! He's right! I'm a born southerner so I know this to be soooo true! We say, bless her heart instead of that happened to me!

I sat there a bit teary eyed as he went on to talk about Job and how he lost everything.  He could have given up--not just on life, but on GOD!   SC continued with the statement do "good families have problems"...duh?!!  Come behind my closed door.  Gosh if I seriously opened it up, there wouldn't be space on this blog, it would become a book instead!  My life has been (as a true southerner would say) a journey--so open the door--a struggle!  SLAM!  OK, let me just crack it a little and talk about now..the struggles of today.   So here's the little "cracked version"--the economy has affected my family in ways that only those behind the door knows.  The most struggling thing though--open wide--is my health.  My health has affected my husband and my children in ways that make me--well, sick to my stomach!  I do sometimes feel "it's my fault"...when it's the disease.  I get sooo tired sometimes of putting on that happy face...but that stays behind the door--cause that's the southern way.  Truth is---I'd give up limbs to not be living this way daily.  The one thing I will not do is blame God or give up.  I have cried tears giving it to Him--that's all I can do at times when it's so bad. 

2 comments I got yesterday--how do you keep smiling and doesn't it hurt your back--Those are being referred to worship--my worship.  I'm on the praise team and yep, sometimes I get to praising--that's the southern word--it's really jumping/stomping/hand lifting!  So, here's how I can keep smiling--because of God.  Because of worship.  Because I'm giving it to HIM!  Does it hurt--yes--but at that moment, no.  I mentioned to one person--Satan can't have that!  That's it!!!  Satan can have this old achy, earthly body--it's of the world--but he can't have my worship!   For those few moments--it's all God's time--not yours--not anybodys--it's between God and Me!  I know it's on the "stage" but for me it's on the "alter".  Yep--I open the door wide for all to see--hmm haven't thought of this southerner actually doing that but yep, I do.  But, as you look to the stage--I urge you to see what I'm seeing--GOD!  Look with YOUR door open--it's an alter of praise!  Praise that I'll be healed in ways that only God can do! financially, emotionally, psychically---HEALED! hands held high--HEALED!

I'm part of some ankylosing spondylitis (AS) groups and sometimes I read what others are posting with the door open wide and I think and wonder do they have God?  Do they feel like Job?  I'm thankful that I have my heavenly Father to turn too.  To cry out for help and to give over to Him.  I'm really not Job--I haven't lost everything--I just feel like it at times.  So comes the saying...
AS has my body, but it will NOT have me! and Satan will NEVER get my worship!!!!  Even behind the door--I give it to you, Jesus--all of me.  I will not give up on this very hard life...I will not stop smiling.  That would be giving up on God and that ain't happening!  He helps me keep on smiling thru all the pain I'm in.  Because HE'S WALKING RIGHT BESIDE ME...OR BETTER YET, I'M ON HIS BACK! Thank you Jesus!

1 comment:

  1. Wow I am very grateful for you my daughter. I could not say it enough. You are so so special to me. And I am so sorry you hurt. When I woke up today and saw the rain I thought UGH. Poor Mel. I know it hurts you.I know you ache all over. My prayer is for the Lord to do something in your life to make you be the woman the special person that could touch someone's life and then I saw this blog and I can see He already has.Love you my sweet. MOM

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